Marriage Equality: A Response to Bishop Tobin

King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the Israelites, ‘You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you; for they will surely incline your heart to follow their gods;’ Solomon clung to these in love. Among his wives were seven hundred princesses and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. 

I Kings 11:1-3 

In a recent column in The Rhode Island Catholic, Bishop Thomas Tobin urged the General Assembly to reject “same sex marriage.” The quotation marks are his. He called it “immoral and unnecessary.” In setting forth his argument against marriage equality, the Bishop wrote:

“The proposal to legalize same-sex marriage is an attempt to redefine the institution of marriage as it has existed in every culture from the very beginning of human history. Marriage between a man and a woman was designed by God for two specific purposes: to affirm the complementary roles of males and females in a loving relationship, and to provide a stable foundation for the procreation and raising of children. Homosexual relationships can achieve neither of those goals.”

The idea that marriage has been defined “in every culture from the very beginning of human history” as a relationship between one man and one woman comes as a great surprise to anyone who has read the Bible. The patriarchs all had several wives and in their stories the rivalry among the wives often plays a significant role in the narrative. And later we read of Saul and David and Solomon, whose wives and concubines were counted in the hundreds.

Marriage has been redefined countless times over the centuries as the roles of men and women have changed. Marriage is no longer defined as a business transaction between the woman’s father and her husband to be, in which she was sold as property. Our definition of marriage no longer includes the right of the husband to beat, or rape, or abandon his wife. It’s not that long ago that the wedding vows typically had the woman promising to “obey” her husband.

According to the Bishop, one of the purposes of marriage is to “affirm the complementary roles of males and females in a loving relationship.” But he does not say what those “complementary roles” are. Both men and women are capable of working outside the home. Each is capable of being the primary “at home parent.” Both can change diapers, cook supper, push strollers, and coach Little League.

In terms of raising children, we already know that children raised by same sex parents are no more likely to have problems than children in “traditional” families.

Bishop Tobin argues that “natural law, the Holy Scriptures, and long-standing religious tradition are very consistent in affirming that homosexual activity is sinful, contrary to God’s plan.”

He is entitled to his reading of Scripture, but it is important to point out that significant numbers of Christians and Jews read those passages differently. The Episcopal Church, the United Church of Christ, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Presbyterian Church U.S.A., as well as both Conservative and Reform Judaism have read those same texts and come to very different conclusions. The argument from natural law is also subject to dispute. We do well to remember that in past centuries natural law was cited in support of slavery, segregation, and the subjugation of women.

Bishop Tobin called same sex marriage "immoral and unnecessary." He is wrong on both counts. It is moral and it is necessary. It is a basic question of civil rights and equal treatment under the law.

Gay and lesbian couples are already living in committed relationships. They are already raising families. They are our neighbors, co-workers and fellow citizens. They sit with us in church on Sunday mornings. They go to PTA meetings and soccer games. The relationships and the families already exist. The question is whether or not those relationships are given equal protection and recognition under the law.

As Christians, we look to Jesus’ teachings for guidance and direction. He never said anything about homosexuality, but he said a great deal about how we treat our neighbors. A verse from the Sermon on the Mount provides a good summary:

“In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)

Chick-Fil-A and Marriage Equality

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. ²You know that when you were pagans, you were enticed and led astray to idols that could not speak. ³Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking by the Spirit of God ever says “Let Jesus be cursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except by the Holy Spirit.

I Corinthians 12:1-3

When Dan Cathy, President of Chick-Fil-A, was asked about his biblical values, he said that he was “guilty as charged.” Then, speaking directly to the issue of marriage equality, he explained, "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage,' and I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to try to redefine what marriage is about.”

Not surprisingly, this set off a major firestorm. In Boston, Chicago, and other cities and towns, mayors and other leaders were quick to say that they did not want a Chick-Fil-A franchise opening in their neighborhoods. On the other side, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman and Newt Gingrich all voiced support. And Mike Huckabee declared a national “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” that drew large crowds of customers across the country.

Fifteen years ago I would have filed Mr. Cathy’s remarks under the heading of “Things about which faithful Christians may disagree.” But that no longer works for me. It is no longer possible for serious and thoughtful people to believe, against all of the scientific evidence, that sexual orientation is a choice. When we actually study the six or seven biblical passages on which this intolerance is based, we find that they are all problematic in one way or another. And as the late Christian Social Ethicist Walter Muelder insisted (in an address he gave at the age of 97), we can’t create a coherent ethical position by choosing a few Bible verses that seem to support our view.

Today Mr. Cathy’s remarks just make me sad.

If we look at our nation through the eyes of Jesus and the prophets, there is a long list of things that invite “God’s judgment on our nation.” But marriage equality isn’t one of them.

I am saddened by Mr. Cathy’s remarks because I know that they will encourage the bullies and bigots to believe that in some twisted way they are actually doing God’s work. Words have consequences. People will be hurt, both physically and emotionally. And I am saddened because there are many people who will think that Dan Cathy speaks for all Christians.

He thinks working for marriage equality is evidence of a “prideful, arrogant attitude.” And I think that denying civil rights to a group of citizens based on a narrow and misguided interpretation of a few verses in the Bible, and expressing that view with absolute moral certainty is the very definition of “prideful” and “arrogant.” The struggle for marriage equality is not about shaking our fists at God; it’s about basic civil rights.

Finally, I am saddened because I believe that Dan Cathy is in so many important other ways, a very good and decent person who tries to be a faithful Christian. He teaches a senior high Sunday School class. He lives by four basic practices, of worship, Bible study, prayer, and tithing. His “life verse” is Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love the LORD you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” It’s part of the Shema, and it’s also the first half of the Great Commandment to love God and neighbor.

For better or for worse, Dan Cathy lives out his faith. I’m hoping next time it’s for better.

Chafee Does the Right Thing

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more and no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. 
Luke 5:5 (The Message)

On Monday Governor Lincoln Chafee did a very brave thing. He issued an executive order declaring that the state will recognize same sex marriages performed in other states, just as the state recognizes heterosexual marriages performed in other states. This means that those couples will have the same rights as their heterosexual neighbors with regard to health insurance and many other benefits.

We rarely see such courage in our political leaders. We claim that we value it, but my guess is that Chafee will get little credit for his courage.

Part of it is his own fault.

Just by chance, I watched the signing on Capitol TV. Martha Holt Castle spoke eloquently about the difficulties that she and her wife faced in getting both of their names on their son’s birth certificate, and she told the story of another woman who had faced many obstacles in dealing with the legal ramifications of her partner’s death. Both of these problems will be corrected by the executive order.

Then she introduced Governor Chafee. He thanked her for her remarks, smiled his goofy smile, and sat down to sign the Executive Order. As is the custom, he used several pens for his signature, and then he passed them out to leaders in the cause of Marriage Equality. He hugged everyone and then he stepped up to the microphone.

He grinned. He said something like, “this is long overdue. I don’t see how anyone could look at this room and not be in favor of marriage equality.” And then I think he gave a thumbs up. And that was it.

It was the perfect opportunity for a stirring speech about the need for political courage in times like this, about making hard decisions, about the historic battles for civil rights. He could have said those things without bragging, while making it clear that he was willing to do what others were afraid to do.

But he just grinned and waved.

I have met Lincoln Chafee just twice. Each time he was at our church for the funeral of the parent of a childhood friend. Each time he gave a short remembrance. One of the things I have noticed at funerals is that often when people share remembrances; it is more about them than it is about the person who died. Chafee did none of that. He is the most self-effacing politician I have ever encountered.

Lincoln Chafee suffers in comparison to his father. John Chafee was a great man. He had integrity and intelligence and a willingness to stand on principle even when it put him at odds with popular opinion or the leaders of his party. And he was an imposing figure with craggy good looks and a presence that commanded attention. Lincoln Chafee, on the other hand, looks like one of the characters from “The Big Bang Theory.” He speaks awkwardly and he moves awkwardly. And he has that goofy grin.

In a statement reacting to the Executive Order, Christopher C. Plante, regional coordinator for the National Organization for Marriage, immediately declared his opposition. “To issue an executive order recognizing same-sex marriage flies in the face of the clearly expressed actions of the legislature and the people,” said Plante. I think Plante is wrong about the people, but he is right about the legislature.

Lincoln Chafee is one of the world’s worst politicians. He is not an eloquent speaker. But he is not afraid of taking an unpopular stance. He made national news when he wanted to be inclusive by calling the tree in the State House a “Holiday Tree.” He wanted to be inclusive, and he was not bothered by the abuse and ridicule heaped on him. As a Senator, he was the only Republican to vote against authorizing the war in Iraq. And he will stand up for equality. I think his father would be proud.

Coffee and Conscience

Happy are those
who do not follow the advice
of the wicked,
or take the path that sinners tread,
or sit in the seat of the scoffers;
but their delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law they meditate day and night.
They are like trees
planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in its season,
and their leaves do not wither.
In all that they do, they prosper.Psalm 1:1-3
Just a few years ago Starbucks was closing stores and laying off employees in a desperate attempt to restore profitability. Today they are expanding, and the Starbucks stock price is at an all time high. At the shareholders meeting this week, the man responsible for the turnaround, CEO Howard Schultz, announced record profits of more than 1 billion dollars, and said that conscience was a key component of the company’s success.

Companies, he said, need to give back to their communities. He argued that it is good for business and essential to restoring the American Dream. “We’re heading into a crucible,” he told the shareholders, “something that’s really going to test the conscience of the country. It’s a test we cannot pass by being bystanders.” He talked about the growing gap between rich and poor and potential “cuts in social services we haven’t seen since the great depression.”

He criticized the government for not doing enough to resolve the debt crisis, or help create jobs and restore the middle class, and he criticized banks for not loaning more money to small businesses. He also insisted that business leaders can no longer wait for Washington to act.
Starbucks has created a jobs program that makes loans to small businesses and non-profits. And he announced the company’s commitment to the goal of job creation by investing $180 million in a new plant in Augusta, Georgia, as well as the expansion of existing facilities in South Carolina.

During the meeting, two shareholders stood up to question the company’s decision to support same sex marriage in Washington State. Each time, he answered calmly and respectfully, noting that not everyone agrees with their stand. “But,” he said, “I want to say candidly, this was not a hard decision.” We looked at the issue, he said, “through the lens of humanity.”

He went on to say that he wanted the company to stand for something more than a product and he wanted the company employees to feel like they were part of something larger than themselves that would make a difference in the world. Last year Starbucks employees contributed nearly half a million hours to volunteer projects in their communities, and the company is working hard to recycle more and be more environmentally friendly.

Looking at a business “through the lens of humanity” does not guarantee financial success, and “doing good” does not automatically translate into “doing well.” But without a concern for the common welfare, real success is impossible.

Jimmy Carter and Biblical Christianity

“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”Matthew 5:11-12
Jimmy Carter has probably endured more ridicule than any other living President of the United States. He is the punch line of a thousand jokes.

One of the things I admire about him is that he doesn’t seem to care. Not caring what people think about you is not a helpful character trait in a politician. And the truth is that he never was a very good politician. But he is a remarkably faithful Christian. His statements and actions seem odd to many political commentators because Christianity is at odds with popular politics and culture.

Paul Brandeis Raushenbush, Senior Religion Editor for the Huffington Post, and great grandson of Walter Rauschenbusch, one of the greatest leaders of the Social Gospel, recently interviews President Carter about his new book, “NIV Lessons from Life Bible: Personal Reflections with Jimmy Carter.” I want to share two of those exchanges.

When asked about whether gays and lesbians should be accepted in the church, he gave a direct, yet measured response:

“Homosexuality was well known in the ancient world, well before Christ was born and Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. In all of his teachings about multiple things -– he never said that gay people should be condemned. I personally think it is very fine for gay people to be married in civil ceremonies.

“I draw the line, maybe arbitrarily, in requiring by law that churches must marry people. I’m a Baptist, and I believe that each congregation is autonomous and can govern its own affairs. So if a local Baptist church wants to accept gay members on an equal basis, which my church does by the way, then that is fine. If a church decides not to, then government laws shouldn’t require them to.”
In another exchange, Raushenbush noted President Carter’s commitment to peacemaking, and then asked how he interpreted Jesus’ declaration that he came, “not to bring peace, but a sword.” Carter responded:

“For the last 35 or more years, my wife and I have read the Bible last thing every night and just last week we read that passage and discussed it a little bit. . . . He was predicting what would happen, that his teachings might cause divisions among people as they decided to follow God’s ordained duties such as peace, humility, service to others, alleviation of suffering, forgiveness -- when we face those conflicts, we should adhere to the principles that never change, to the moral values that are taught through religion.”
Peace, humility, service to others, alleviation of suffering, forgiveness—those are not qualities that we often find in our leaders. And when we find them, we do not value them.

Peg Laurence, Ellen DeGeneres and the New Reality

Do not remember the former things,
or consider the things of old.
I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?Isaiah 43:18-19a

On the front page of The North East Independent, a local weekly newspaper, there is a story about Peg Laurence, a local lawyer who died last Friday at the age of 63. She was remembered and celebrated as a community activist and a renaissance woman who loved golf, sailing and football.

As I read of her many causes and commitments, I was impressed by the scope of her life. She must have been a wonderful person. But what most caught my attention was the picture that went with the story. The caption said, “Peg Laurence (left), shown with partner Lise Iwon . . .” It was not a story about a gay woman. It was just a story about a woman who happened to be gay.

This is, in the words of Isaiah, “a new thing.”

The judge who married them in Massachusetts told about how they met in Law School 32 years ago and it was “love at first sight.” Nieces and nephews recalled the importance of “Auntie Peg’s influence” on their lives and the lives of their children.

While the political debates go on about gay marriage, the day to day reality is changing. As Isaiah proclaims God’s message, “now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Times reported that the organizers of what was supposed to be a national boycott of J.C. Penney to protest the company’s hiring of Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson, have given up. The Times wrote that, “The Christian family group called OneMillionMoms.com announced Thursday that it's backing off a nationwide boycott of J.C. Penney.”

In that context, shouldn’t the word “Christian” be in quotation marks? Admittedly, they call themselves a “Christian Family Group,” but apart from that self-definition, what would indicate that they are in any way reflecting authentic Christian values?

We should be very careful about deciding who is or is not a “real” Christian. And even though it turns out that “OneMillionMoms.com” actually only has about 40,000 members (as Ellen DeGeneres said, “I guess they rounded up to the nearest million), I don’t really want to throw them out of church. But it does trouble me that the name is unthinkingly ascribed to the most narrow minded of those who claim to be Jesus’ followers.

And how is it that Christianity is so often identified with preserving the status quo? We wrote the book on “New.” Literally.

As the passage from Isaiah illustrates, the idea of God’s ever-creating newness is a biblical theme that predates Christianity. But it is hard to think of many themes that are more central to Christian faith. As Paul wrote in his letter to the church in Corinth, “When anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!”